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Haters are my motivators(:
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
When I was your age, we had to walk 10 miles in the snow to get drunk and have sā¬x.
I`m home by myself this evening. My wife is out at Kohl`s buying another load of laundry.
Unless life hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.
He said the spark between us was gone..so I tasered him..... Ill ask him again when he wakes up
Iām amazing in bed. I have the ability to stay there all day.
I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same
Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic.
If you`re feeling too good about yourself, go ask a 5 yr old to guess your age. That should even things out.
It`s amazing how much more money I have when I`m drunk.
Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized.
If you can`t say something nice about someone, you probably know the same people I do.