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We´re responsible for most of what happens to us, the rest is probably Voodoo.
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a regular pigeon.
It has been scientifically proven that any woman can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches — and it doesn’t matter if it is Visa or MasterCard
The phrase "Go see your Ford dealer" means something completely different in Canada than the United States.
If you eat doughnuts fast enough your Fitbit thinks you`re walking.
I suspects that whoever named that Icelandic volcano (Eyjafjallajokull) must have fallen asleep on their keyboard while thinking it up.
Behind that fat girl is a beautiful woman...No seriously, she`s in the way.
If cats could talk, they`d probably always be correcting your grammar.
For all we know, half the birds are telling the other birds to shut up.
Two wrongs may not make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.
"American Pie" ruined it for any kid that actually does have an amazing story from band camp.
Born free. Now, I’m expensive.
Don`t get out of bed, it`s a trap.
Does running out of money count as exercise?
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in the fruit salad.