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Every time i see a person kneeling over tying their shoe, i run up behind them and hop over them to try and get a game of leapfrog going.
Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
Me: "Why do all the people I love leave me?!" UPS Guy: "Please Mam, just sign"
Sometimes I get nervous I haven`t done anything with my life. But then something good comes on TV, and I`m OK.
I wonder how many people die each year from lifeguards running in slow motion?
Don`t get me started Bitches, I don`t come with brakes.
This job fair sucks... They don`t have one F*cking ride...
I hate how my friends are always trying to convince me to do extreme activities. Like bungee jumping, skydiving or leaving the house.
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
Girls are like parking spots all the good ones are taken and the rest are to far away
I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12.
I spend hours on Facebook and then think, “Well, that was pointless”
Nobody pissed me off today... I got to get out more.
What`s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don`t know and I don`t care.