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Tequila. For those nights you just want to pretend she`s hot.
I hate Cheetos stains on my peignoir.........
People who get offended on the internet are the same people that take mini golf seriously.
The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won`t need to adjust her driving.
Have you seen that new golf ball that will automatically go in the hole if it comes within 4in of it. DO NOT carry it in your back pocket!
I had cheese, but no crackers ... I was cracka-lackin
You know you`re getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you`re down there.
I`m sorry we fought ... I hate it when you`re wrong.
Why can`t Miss Piggy count to 100? Cuz` when she gets to 69, she gets a frog in her throat!
I don’t appreciate the 5 minute radio ads about how commercial-free the station is.
Is the "D" in Donkey Kong a typo? It should have been Monkey Kong right? These are the things that keep me up at night.
Family vacations: When you pay a lot of money to yell at your kids in exotic destinations, preferably on a balcony with an ocean view.
Beach people are fickle. One minute you`re the loser with a bucket of cold fries and the next they`re terrified of the Lord of Seagulls.
This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.
Since everything is closed for Thanksgiving I’m going to drive around and park in all the good spots I never get.