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Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they`re stabbing it? No? How about now?
It`s only a 4 way stop if each driver can read
Anytime my boss leaves her office, I sneak in there and fart.
I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
My mom just sent me a friend request on Facebook! Finally I can use that "I`m not your friend I`m your mother" speech to my advantage.
Everything I like is expensive, illegal, or won’t text me back.
How much time has to pass before grave robbing is considered archaeology?
CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he`s called "beautiful" on Facebook today.
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
According to this BMI chart ... I am to short.
The moment when someone says a word and everyone laughs, including you and then someone goes, "Do you know what that means?" and you go "No, not really."
"I went to Jared" I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
Light beer and turkey bacon probably won`t kill you but why take the chance??
When you`re a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since the last time I saw you!" As an adult, not so much.