Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"
You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
I love Halloween because it`s the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Batman and going home with a cheerleader.
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche.
My life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.
I`m out of bacon. This is my suicide note.
I don`t quite get women who have like 15 bridesmaids. I don`t even like 15 people altogether in my life.
Men think they have it bad, but they`re not the ones having to hold their boobs when they run.
If you didn`t want to be hit with a shovel then you never should have started telling me about your problems.
Don`t pick on Aquaman! The crime rate underwater is pretty damn low the last time I checked.
It`s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
You know you are the ugly one if they ask you to take the photo.
The only time I listen to a woman giving directions is when I use my GPS.
My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don`t try to run her life and I don`t try to run mine.