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So if one was to type ‘idiot’ into Google, would your picture come up?
Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30
I’ve never considered myself much of a conspiracy theorist. Then I discovered the letters in Frito Lay could be rearranged to spell Oily Fart- Coincidence?… I think not!!!
I`m not an asshole, I`m just the only one who has the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.
I bet Batman`s cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he admits.
Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who`s accent is so thick you can`t understand them?
"Wife dragged me to this theater. Somebody shoot me." -Abraham Lincoln`s last Tweet.
Upside to hurricanes... you might get a free boat delivered to your front yard.
I bet everyone in Gotham prisons really hates the guy that killed Bruce Wayne`s parents.
I just saw a squirrel dragging a wine bottle bag up a tree ... I think I found my spirit animal.
Condoms prevent minivans.
I`m so old, I remember when the internet didn`t have commercials.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. :)
I`m 99% sure you think I`m weird. And I`m 100% sure I don`t care.
I haven’t lived paycheck to paycheck since my last paycheck.