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According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
I bring my kids to a romantic restaurant on Valentine`s day as a birth control reminder to the other couples.
In honor of St. Patrick`s Day, I`m going to create a hybrid of a four leaf clover and poison ivy and give myself a rash of good luck
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or sexier than you. That would be me.
Don`t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
the difference between people and celebreties ...... celebreties don`t have a routine
I could kill you with kindness, but shoving you into traffic just saves so much time.
Don`t worry about the grass on the other side. It`s not your grass.
The first sign of laziness:
Online personality tests are pretty self-explanatory… If you’re taking the test, chances are you don`t have one.
It`s always nice to be called Pretty in the morning. So what if he was hiding behind the trash wearing no pants.
Mister Rogers didn`t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
Pretty much the most frightening part of my day is when I get a notification that my mother has tagged me in a post on Facebook.
I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."