Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s pretty stupid the way mornings have to come every morning.
That amazing moment when you find money in your clothes that you forgot was there.
This Crazy Weather Makes Me Want To Masturbate Furiously!!!
If Monday had a face... I`d punch it.
Telling my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I`m cute, I would have 1 dollar ... thanks mom.
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
Walmart does not have a dildo section. But it`s always fun to ask their employees if they do.
For a guy who makes as many bad decisions as I do, I feel like I should be having more fun.
The phrase “Ignore it and it will go away.” does NOT apply to being chased by a dozen cop cars.....trust me on this one.
Judging by the way some women wear makeup it`s rather obvious they didn`t excel at coloring as a kid ...
I can`t take this long distance relationship anymore.. Fridge, you`re coming to my room.
I thought I cracked this "adulthood" till I realised my shirt was on inside out !!!!!