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It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
This guy keeps asking me to help pet his neglected, one-eyed trouser snake. What a sweet guy! I think he`s a vet. Ladieeees! A doctor!!
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
A procrastinator`s work is never done...
Look, all I`m saying is that the dinosaurs didn`t drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
I hate it when people like their own statuses * At this point you like your status for dramatic effect*
Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.
I just encountered a spider bigger than my desire to be the man of the house.
Batman had the bat signal. If you need to get my attention, hold a Roast Beef Sandwich over a floor lamp and aim it at my apartment.
I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of crazy.
I`ll bet whoever said "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" had just farted
It`s amazing the things I can remember when I don`t need to remember anything.
Honestly, I have no idea what I would even do with 5 hours of energy.
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??
At least a stalker is there for you.