Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Everytime I see “ROFL”… I think of Scooby Doo trying to say “waffle”.
I`m a huge fan of screaming "You`re welcome" really loud when people don`t say thank you...
If you see me drinking coffee from a to-go cup in public after 3 pm, that coffee is booze in disguise.
honestly I`ve never seen a tombstone that read "died from not forwarding a text to 10 people"
My friend told me that bigamy was having one wife to many. I thought that was called monogamy.
Without stupid people we would have no one to laugh at.
Maybe the reason the world keeps making idiots famous is because 75% of the world is made up of idiots.
One great thing about life before the internet was if you met someone, you didn`t then have to know them the rest of your life.
I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts “Batman” when he’s drunk. I know I do.
How does anything ever get done at the bubble wrap factory?
I may not be the smartest guy in the world, or the richest guy in the world, or the best looking guy in the world, but.... Oh, hell. Now I`m depressed.
I think I’m going to take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it…
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
When the coffee stops working it is probably the right time to start drinking.
I am a gentleman, based on the clubs I go to.