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Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
Didn’t have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
I like to smile at people who don`t like me because I`m an asshole
I´ll never be old enough to know better.
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
New Years - the only day where its socially acceptable to drink this early.
I cleaned my room and still smells like smoke, stale beer and sweat. This is the last time I use "Mr. Sheen" cleaner.
I seem to start my day backwards. I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.
I can`t wait for Taylor Swift to break up with a black guy, so she can write a rap album!
The nice thing about being a guy is your underwear only costs $10 for a 3-pack.
Wow, I haven`t seen you since the last time I wish I hadn`t seen you
"I can`t believe it`s not clutter." ~ A recovering hoarder
The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.
You ever wonder why wearing no underwear is called “going commando”? It seems to me it wouldn’t be useful in a combat situation.
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO