Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Calling credit cards "a convenient alternative to cash" is like calling crystal meth a "diet substitute".
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age.
Has anyone EVER checked to see how the room or wall behind them looks before taking and posting 50 selfies?!
You`ve never been truly drunk until you`ve had to use a barstool as a walker to get home.
It`s never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it`s too late.
Barbie has an awful lot of things for a girl who`s knees don`t bend.
Adulthood – Pros: You can now eat ice cream in bed. Cons: This will somehow make you sadder.
The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I`m home alone and my power goes out.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much shit to carry.
I finally got some medication for my Attention Deficit Disorder. Now if I could just remember the name of it and where I left it at.
"Hi, I`m here to ruin your life" - Social media
If steroids are illegal for athletes shouldn`t photoshop be illegal for models?
My Wife says I talk while I sleep..........but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it
It’s called a “remote” because those are your odds of finding it when you want to change the channel.