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Monday is like canned spinach...I can can deal with it but I`d prefer something else.
If I was rich, I`d do nothing all day from a much nicer couch
Is it "I febreezed my crotch" or "I febroze my crotch"?
I hate Russian nesting dolls. They`re so full of themselves
is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It`s like they don`t know I plan on cropping them out later.
My doctor told me, "DON`T mix this medicine with alcohol or you could wake up somewhere naked with a monkey on your arm." CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs.
When I was a kid, I told my parents I was going to make something of myself. I think they are getting impatient.
If you`re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty
According to this BMI chart ... I am to short.
Optimistic people want to hear the bad news first, while pessimists ask for the good. Realists just start drinking.
I went shopping for some camouflage trousers earlier. Couldn’t find a pair anywhere.