Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I am currently watching the Holy Grail of horror movies. There are 10 minutes left and the black guy is still alive.
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
Honk if you are reading this.
Dad: Son its a fact that masturbation can lead to blindness. Me: Dad... Im over here ..
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
Why can’t they make the whole week out of Saturdays?
Stalking is such a strong word. I perfer the term surveillance expert.
If you are offended by the opinions I express you can only imagine the ones I keep to myself.
Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cookies.
Like if you remember the correlation between a pencil and a cassette tape ...
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
Having a dirty mind makes simple conversation much more exciting!
I’m not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
Why do ballerinas always stand in their toes? Why don`t they get taller dancers?
I can either be on time or wearing pants. Pick one.