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I just called. To say. I texted you.
Am I the only one who runs up on happy couples and yells, "How could you do this to me" and then runs off crying?
2017 didn`t need that extra hour back.
Just had workplace violence training. It`s like HR doesn`t even care about the first rule of fight club.
Next time one of your friends leave their Facebook open, randomly pick one of their friends and like all 973 of their photos.
Hoodie Footie Pajamas from Pajamagram; because nothing tells a girl you love her like giving her something to cover up her body from head to toe before she gets in your bed.
If a door closes in your life...kick that f*cking thing open and continue to pursue your dreams.
Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up and play dead and they usually leave you alone.
You dont know sh!t about pressure until you`re the only Black person on the dance floor while white people clap & form a circle around you
I think I’m going to take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it…
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.
Pizza is like sex, when it is good it`s very good, When it`s bad...it`s still pretty good.
What doesn`t kill you, will hopefully try again
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.
The important thing to remember is that nobody asked you.