Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Relationships should come with an icon that shows you how much time you have left like your phone’s battery.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don`t have long.
You tell me I`m crazy, the voices tell me I`m not. 4 against 1, so........
I think...therefore, I am.....single
When I tell stories about people I don’t like, I give them ridiculous voices.
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children, don’t know very much about children.
Car next to me in the liquor store parking lot has a family sticker. She has seven kids! ... I better get in there quick! She`s gonna buy it all.
Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away
My favorite word is `apparently`. Makes anything sound sarcastic. He`s intelligent, apparently.
When you are a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since I last saw you!" As an adult, not so much.
I’m on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people.
No matter how nice I ask random people, nobody will take me to Funkytown.
There`s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs.
Running away doesn`t help your problems, unless you`re fat. Then yeah, run away.