Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In marijuana`s defense, I`m lazy as sh!t completely sober too.
One man`s trash is another man`s profile picture.
You know you are paranoid when you think this joke is about you.
The responsibility of taking out the trash should be left to the person who runs out of ways to fit more trash in the bag.
There are dozens of different flavors of ramen noodles, but they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
Congratulations! I`ve finally snapped, and you`re first on my list!
The question isn’t who is going to let you; it’s who is going to stop you.
I recently added squats to my daily workout routine and I did so by moving my beer to the bottom shelf in my refrigerator.
PRO TIP: If you see a woman crying, never ask if its because of her hair.
Someone just called me normal, I`ve never been so insulted in all my life!
Currently under the influence of cold and flu medicine...my actions can not be held against me!
According to new research, too much sex can cause memory loss. Finally, something that explains my ultra detailed photographic memory.
Don`t talk about yourself so much... we`ll do that when you leave.
Can I get likes for no reason?
That awkward moment when your trapped in the corner of your shower because the hot water ran out.