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I can`t wait for a empty Christmas wrapping paper tube to bonk someone over the head with!
Yesterday was international ninja day and I didn`t even know. Well played ninja day, well played.
I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
I`ve heard that men that are married live longer, but i`ve also heard that men that have sex live longer. Anybody know which one of them is true?
Relationships, Marriages, work and children are what keep alcohol companies in business.
My door bell is a recording of a shotgun being racked.
Falling in love when lonely is a lot like shopping when hungry, you end up with a bunch of sh!t you don`t need.
Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
Happy Halloween… may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong!
Trying to be a responsible adult is messing up my social life.
If you put a "Student Driver" sign on top of your car, Nobody will ever suspect you of drunk driving.
If Guys Wrote Valentine’s Cards: “I don’t even need beer to think you’re attractive.”
If your bf/gf tries to start a fight with you just say, "Please. Not during Toyotathon."
Plastic surgeons are the only people that actually encourage you to pick your nose.