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Actually, The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is ... Just open the door and push her out.
There is a fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she`ll get your paychecks.
I never talk to myself......But I do have some candid conversations with the other personalities!
It’s all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call.
I`m not the sort of person you should put on speakerphone.
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
When the girl working the counter says "would you like fries with that?" say.."are you calling me fat??" then burst into tears. Free meal.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It`s definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation.
Sometimes I add things to my to-do list that I’ve already done just so I can immediately cross them off.
Stop picking on Justin Bieber. That`s somebody`s daughter.
Most people are lucky they can’t hear what I’m thinking.
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
Do you think people will start blaming auto correct for there marriages breaking down?