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A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy`s laptop
Please, lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won`t spoil me!
People who walk while looking at their phones and expect me to get out of the way... LOL.
The doctor said I need to drink more whiskey....Oh, by the way... I`m calling myself "the doctor" now.
All you need is WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn`t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn`t, use the tape.
With so many things coming back in style, I can`t wait until morals and intelligence become a trend again.
Deaf people don`t have safe words, they use stop signs.
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
Happy 4/21! National work drug testing day!
My doctor is concerned about my high blood pressure. I told him, next time, don`t leave me sitting in the waiting room for two hours.
You call it Sushi, I call it bait.
I’ve thought about running away as an adult way more than I did as a child.
Just because I know I`m a "Good looking, extremely intelligent, funny as hell, sexy ass, Motherf#ker" doesn`t mean I`m "Conceited"...Im more like a "Realist", that just so happens to be very good with adjectives!...A "Bad-Ass Realist", that is!
A fear of mine is a proctologist with poor depth perception!
If we`re in a situation where I am the "voice of reason," then we are in a very very bad situation.