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I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
I love long walks on the beach under the moonlight, poetry, candlelight dinners, and having my a$$ spanked with a fuzzy slipper.
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a zombie in the apocalypse is all the walking.
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
Who`s further now, the Energizer Bunny or Voyager 1?
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
My religious preference, is for you to steer clear of me with yours.
You pay more attention to the TV than you do me! - Ma`am, do you want me to fix your cable or not?
had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters
Sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that
When you say "9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans." All I hear is "there`s a bear out there that knows how to use matches."
Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, We would be planting so many trees. And we`d probably save the planet too! Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath :/
Now that there is no FBI director we can finally make copies of VHS tapes