Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To those girls who always put"CRYING" at the end of every status, seriously what do you expect us to do, inbox you a tissue?
Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
Taking shots of Tequila is just another way of saying, "I like where I wake up to always be a surprise."
I have off-road rage, too
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
You could`ve told me that wasn`t your real name before I got the tattoo.
Safe words are for quitters.
Just saw a cop that had a U-Haul pulled over on the side of the road. Obviously he was trying to bust a move.
I wish banks would do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fourth one I`ve been to that is saying "Insufficient Funds."
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel. Twice. From Hulk. On adrenaline rush.
We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.
Note to Self: These Note to Selves don’t work.
When I say "Have a nice day." Remember the f*cker on the end is silent.
Are you still bored? Head over to Walmart, take a box of condoms to the checkout clerk, and ask where the fitting room is.