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I think once we get past the restraining orders, court dates, and the stalking charges we can really make this relationship work.
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. It’s giving payment when payment is due that I seem to struggle with.
You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull.
Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they’re going to put you in one.
They say you need about 2000 calories a day. Ok, time to do math. 65 calories in one fluid ounce of Jack Daniel`s means i need 30 shots tonight.
I`m just a boy...standing in front of a girl...asking her to lov.....aw who am I trying to fool. I just want in your pants.
Last time I saw jugs that big, 2 hillbillies were blowing on them.
I`m so broke right now if anybody robbed me they`d just be practicing
A smart man washes his hands after he pees. A wise man doesn`t pee on his fingers.
Serving size ?? LMAO
Life gets expensive when you trust a woman that`s cute.
"Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.
I am really glad the shutdown is over. I`ll tell you something, it was very lonely being the only nonessential employee who was working.
The best part about growing old with you is that I`ll always be the younger one.