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Showing cleavage doesn’t fix your face.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading toward a lowered self-esteem and irregular bowel movements.
When I grow up I´d like to be a "Retired Lottery Winner."
Once again I`ve woken up without super powers. Sigh
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn`t concentrate.
So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke.
Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you.
Sorry I can`t make it to your party tonight- I have to get up REALLY early tomorrow afternoon.
Instead of sending people to jail, we should just make them eat the stringy things off bananas..
If the zombie apocalypse happened in Vegas…would it “stay in Vegas”?
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. – The Opportunist
Tell a therapist, Not Facebook.
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.