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some people just need a high-five......in the face......with a chair!
If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
It`s all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
Keep the dream alive......... Hit the snooze button.
I love to start my day by getting on Facebook to see who is a whiny little bi!ch today.
You’re probably naked under all those clothes. You slut.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?
Every time I see a preview for Hoarders, I grab the closest thing to me and immediately throw it away.
I dreamt I was you..I hated myself. Luckily I woke up..woah that was close.
Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.
I hope manners is the next cool trend.
Whatever doesn’t kill me makes me all like, “Whoa! That was close!”
Kinda like Facebook, I wish I could ‘hide’ people in real life.
That awkward moment when you remember something funny, and can’t stop smiling like an idiot.
person 1: i can draw really well person 2: i`m really athletic person 3: i`m hilarious and likable person 4: i`m gorgeous me: i can breathe