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Its weird that goldfish will eat other goldfish but wont eat goldfish crackers. Life sure is complicated sometimes.
Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
"Does my uniform make me look fat?" -Insecurity guard
I’m what you would call “indoorsy”
We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.
Not to brag, but I don`t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
lol I rotfl
Is it just me or doesn`t anyone disappear in the Bermuda triangle anymore?
There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
I never sign anything until I pretend to read it first..
I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies aren’t real.
Some days your the duck. Some days your the goose.
Indecisiveness is just mental constipation.
It is impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.
I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night…he hypnotized 7 guys…then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled F*CK ME ... what happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life