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Time heals all wounds...unless it`s infected or gangrene or something then time makes it worse.
If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
I`d rather be in a relationship where no one wears the pants.
It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
Now that football season is here, if anyone`s favorite team loses, they can just blame it on Trump.
In a perfect world Taco Bell would deliver...
Sorry for whatever I said when I was hungry.
It takes patience to listen, it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
Car next to me in the liquor store parking lot has a family sticker. She has seven kids! ... I better get in there quick! She`s gonna buy it all.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming.
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm
I just finish reading "50 shades of gray" by Sherwin Williams. I don`t see what all the hype is about these paint brochures.
Reincarnation is my only hope.