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Besides creating dinosaurs are mosquitos good for anything?
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of grains that could`ve become beer, but didn`t
I carry a knife, but it’s just in case of cake.
If I`m not back in ten minutes ... then just wait longer.
If life gives you lemons make grape juice than lay back and watch people wondering how you did it;)
To all the lovely ladies here I`m not wearing green....to all the guys here, I know Ju-Jitsu. Just saying
Sometimes I let the words in my mind come out of my mouth. And it feels awesome! B)
Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens.
The guy who invented the Time Machine has just died.... RIP DAVE JONES 2187-2014
Happy St. Patrick`s Day! I was going to drink anyway!
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
I can eat a piece of pie without a plate or a fork what else should I write on this dating site profile?
If I had a crystal ball to see 5 years in the future, I would have 2020 vision.
when people fall in love they are called " love birds." when they fight they are called "angry birds."