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I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
If by sexy you mean me licking the donut icing off my fingers then yes I can be damn sexy.
I may not be the richest guy...or the smartest guy...or the funniest guy...or the best-looking guy...or the .....:( Forget it, now I`m depressed.
Ladies, life is short. So buy the shoes!
So far my bracket is perfect! I can`t wait to fill the rest of it in.
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
I hate bugs that fly, jump, crawl, dougie, twerk, 2 step, all that crap.
It’s what’s on the inside that counts, unless you’re talking about one of those hollow chocolate bunnies.
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
It`s fun to chant "Bloody Mary" three times into your car`s side mirror while driving at night and watch her jog to keep up
I`ve reached the age where happy hour is a nap.
My sister borrowed my favorite shirt without asking again, so I changed her Facebook profile picture to a positive Clearblue pregnancy test.
A good thing about dating a vegan is that you could kill 2 birds with 1 stone, when you buy flowers because they`re also a snack for later.
Sleep is just a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it”