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DUI attorneys should buy some ad space on those Taco Bell hot sauce packets.
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
The only reason they make yellow starbursts is for when someone asks you if they can have one of your starbursts.
I can`t believe the music that kids listen to now-a-days! What ever happened to wholesome music like "Push It" and "Me So Horny"?
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
Per Wikipedia, there are two kinds of scorpions. One can sting and kill you like a spider, the other can sing and rock you like a hurricane
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
My girlfriend asked me to send some dirty pics. So I sent her a picture of my sink full of dishes. :)
Remember when teachers asked to lie quietly with your head on your desk? My boss has yet to be impressed with this skill.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain “adult situations” but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid’s vomit.
Good for you, people that do things.
My Superpower is eating 5 times the "suggested serving" size.
I wish I had Dora`s mom and dad, they let that girl go everywhere.
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.