Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Honesty is the best policy, unless you`re trying to return something that you`ve already worn.
Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
Instead of cleaning my house I just watch an episode of hoarders and think " Wow my house looks great"
Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won`t need to adjust her driving.
Here walk a mile in my shoes. They`re giving me huge blisters.
tried being normal. Didn`t like the feeling, so I`m going back to being ME.
Sometimes I feel like a loser for spending so much time on Facebook. Then I remember there are people out there who comment on pornhub videos
I always tell the person at the drive-thru that they are so much prettier than I pictured them when I was ordering.
I thought about exercising all day long. I am so exhausted.
Kinda like Facebook, I wish I could ‘hide’ people in real life.
Good morning friends … Wait … what the hell m I doing up this early?
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and emailed me 3 days later asking if I have a job yet
It would be funny if the husband is actually sleeping with the Jake from state Farm.
You want me to smile? How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren`t getting enough fiber?