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It`s so cute how all the free sandwiches in the fridge at work have little names.
You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
Ill be in my office giving co-workers the silent treatment ..by sending them blank emails.
One day when I was at the beach there was a guy in the ocean yelling, "Shark! Help!" And I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn`t going to help him.
If you say married people aren’t having sex, you have obviously never sat in a hotel bar & watched them pick up strangers.
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
You know what`s really great about being a narcissist? Me.
"Karate" is an old Japanese word that means, "My kid can`t hit a baseball."
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in, you push it. Threading a needle isn`t easy.
Love your neighbor. But don`t get caught.
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
I wonder if New York people find it weird to watch their own city being destroyed in Hollywood movies so many times..!!
A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.
They say 1 minute of kissing burns 26 calories. No wonder sluts are so damn skinny.