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There is a fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
Instead of cars warning us of stupid things, like the door is open, it should tell us useful things, like there`s a cop hiding in the bushes
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dropping a can of soda and sticking it back in the fridge all shaken up for the next person to open is not nearly as funny when you live by yourself.
I wouldn`t want lesbian parents. Not because I`m homophobic. I just don`t want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."
This morning I got in touch with my inner self. And that`s also the last time I`ll buy cheap toilet paper...
People who say watching golf on TV is boring have obviously never listened to golf on the radio
See above or below for better statuses.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
It`s damn funny when a wife think`s she`s punishing her husband by not talking to him for days..
For a guy who makes as many bad decisions as I do, I feel like I should be having more fun.
Saying a prayer for all the turkeys today. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
I bought a screwdriver bit for my electric drill. It`s useful for converting ordinary phillips screws into non removable screws.
People go to the bar hoping for 2 things...to get hammered or to get nailed.