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Sorry I`m late, the floor was lava
"IT`S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON`T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.
That moment you realize that the person who proofread Hitler`s speeches was indeed a Grammar Nazi.
I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
If you play any Taylor Swift song backwards you`ll hear messages from the devil, however even worse........... if you play it forwards, you`ll hear Taylor Swift
So many idiots, so few nuclear warheads....
Bring me the heads of my enemies!! or some cupcakes ... whichever.
When I go to the gas station I always get two kinds of drinks so it appears I actually have a friend..I think they`re catching on though.
Dear naps, I`m sorry I was such a jerk to you as a kid.
No matter what you do on the computer you always end up on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Youtube.
I finally did it. I gave my cat a bath today. It really wasn`t that bad. She enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Other than the fur sticking to the roof of my mouth, it went well.
My son wants to be a shrink when he grows up... Clearly I`ve failed to teach him our family`s place in the psychiatric process...
Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.
Card on top of gift reads `I want you wearing this tonight` only to open the gift to find NOTHING
:): The Bipolar smiley face