Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.
Its so cold outside I just saw a teenager with his pants pulled all the way UP
Those friends who like and at the same time unlike my statuses please you`re increasing my blood pressure!
only fights if pillows are present.
I wish "it`s the thought that counts" worked for housework.
Besides tweeting during this job interview, what would you say is your biggest weakness?
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
Please pray for the people still playing Farmville on Facebook.
Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
Bored? Text "Our condom broke." to a random number
Breast awareness month: we stare because we care
I always have a note in my pocket that says "john did it" just in case I`m murdered because I don`t want him to remarry
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.
I`m honest, so when I say I took a "cat nap" that means that I slept for 18 hours and then pissed on your favorite shirt after I woke up.