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Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
Offering someone food and secretly hoping they say no.
My son just accused me of making stuff up. I wouldn`t mind but I don`t even have any children!
Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I`ve only done that with pizza
This generation is guilty of making the wrong people rich and famous.
should probably get my daily dose of calcium.. white russians it is
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
It`s ok, ghosts, no-one believes in me either.
Free snow at my house. Shovel all you want!
This is probably the best idea I`ve had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid
I could snap at any moment. Seriously, with either hand.
At the end of each day, life should ask us, `Do you want to save the changes?`
Dear whoever is playing sweet child o` mine at 2:30 in the night at full blaring volume to disturb the whole neighborhood......NICE!
I went frisbee golfing today. I didn`t get an ace, but I did hit a guy and that was just as satisfying.