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Eventually, some poor astronaut is going to crash into all that Star Wars writing
Happy July 22nd! Today isn’t a holiday, but you’re alive and well, so why not celebrate?
All the coffee in Colombia couldn`t make me a morning person.
You can tell a lot from a woman by her hands. For instance, if they`re placed around your throat she`s probably slightly upset.
Sometimes people try to expose what`s wrong with you, because they can`t handle what`s right about you.
Time flies when you`re throwing watches.
So last night I put a whopee cushion on moms chair, waited and finally heard it go off.. I walk in with a massive smile on my face to find out that she hadn`t even sat on it yet.
Life is fun! You should get one.
So many Jehovah`s Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah`s Evidence.
I don`t use my cell phone in the car... I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.
More people would drink responsibly if there was a brand of beer named Responsibly.
I know I`ve had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
When you send food back to the kitchen, you`re basically saying, "Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."
So, All my exes live in Texas; Exactly, how does one go about scheduling a tornado ?