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What this country needs is more unemployed politicians...
Jack Frost go away, come again another day. I need some sun, I need some sand, I need an island & a band. I`m bored with you & tired of the cold, so go away your getting old. Bring on the sun at one hundred degrees, some coconut oil & pina coladas please
They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.
when life gives you lemons; ask for tequila and salt
How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
My wife just said that I was the worst behaved out of all her children.
Remember, condoms prevent minivans.
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
Why is it called tourist season if we can`t shoot them?
I can make your gf scream louder than you can. - Spider
For Christmas I just want summer...
Water is so good when it`s mixed with grains and yeast, fermented and then distilled and aged.
I need chapstick on my lips ... anyone want to share ?
I`d divorce my wife but I never want to see her that happy!
You can get away with farting at the zoo because you can always blame the animals...