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real eyes realize real lies
I don`t think I could love any person as much as I love BACON... Mmmmm Bacon...
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you dont have to mow it.
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you`re signing a cast.
With the problems I have, I would have taken my own life a long time ago but i have one question: Do they sell weed in hell?
All I`m saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.
I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!
I can`t afford a therapist so i bought a mood ring
Don`t let anyone tell you what you can`t accomplish. That`s what self-doubt is for.
I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.
All a girl wants is a guy that can make her laugh ... and not just when he drops his pants.
I`m starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I`ll never ever use one again. I`m so excited about it. Yes.
"Shit ton" is my favorite unit of measurement.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?