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Why do people who insult themselves get mad when you agree with them?
Ever wonder if the McDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?
Yeah, you go ahead and climb that mountain "because it`s there", I am going to eat this Pizza "because it`s here"................................
my 2012 new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
Alcohol: Because no good story starts with “So this one time I was eating a salad….”
Textaphrenia – thinking you’ve heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.
I`d like to read an obituary that says "He laid down the boogie and played that funky music till he died."
My cat just dragged in a half eaten sausage, I have no idea where he got it from but it tastes expensive.
Funny how the closer I get to the bar the friendlier I become.
Sorry I missed your call. I took too long to answer because I was dancing to the ringtone.
When I was growing up, I was taught to walk and talk and when I was grown, I was told to sit down and STFU!!!
Gotta admire people who drive with one hand holding on to a mattress tied to the roof.
If you try to fail but you succeed which have you done?
Couldn`t stay awake sitting on the couch, so I laid down in bed to make sure I wouldn`t fall asleep
Does anyone else wonder why naked and baked, 2 words that go together SO well, don`t rhyme?? ...I mean, who comes up with these words anyway? lol