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All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
Whenever I open my fridge, my dog looks at me with a puzzled look and he thinks: Why don’t you eat all the food?
“A body at rest tends to stay at rest” should be an acceptable excuse for missing work.
Statistics show the number one cause of failed relationships is opening your mouth and letting words come out.
When I said I missed you, I meant with a hammer.
I’m supporting our troops today by going commando.
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?
When someone yells stop, I don`t know if it`s in the name of love, it`s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.
We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
If we`re all expected to have sex with our Valentine on Valentine`s Day, I`m truly dreading Presidents` Day.
in wine there is wisdom. in beer there is freedom. in water there is... umm bacteria
I’m trying to read a book about how to relax, but I keep falling asleep
You know that old saying? If you seen one woman naked. You want to see all women naked.
Paperclips: The staple for people with commitment issues.