Daily Silly Status

I like to go on job interviews wearing an eye patch and switch eyes when the interviewer looks down.

The problem with trouble is that it always starts out as fun.

To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day ... Palm Sunday is just around the corner

I always tell new hires, don`t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you`re ass

These peopele at the gym are looking at me like they expect me to share my donuts ... SMH

You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.

I saw the city workers putting up a sign on my street and it says Bumpy road ... so I put up a sign that says ,, FIX IT !

I hope that man who was walking in memphis found out the way he really felt

I am really thankful that I have a desk job. I could never get all my personal stuff done at home.

Ladies and Gentleman, I’ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There’s never enough beer.

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan? ;)

Note to Self: Wearing headphones do not make my farts silent.

My bed and I are in a good relationship, and my alarm clock is so0o jealous...

Waved to my ex today, next time I might use all my fingers