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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

β€œI went to Jared” I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
The unplanned moments tend to be the best ones.
With Halo 4, Black Ops II and Assasins Creed III, I think November might register the lowest teen pregnancy rates in a long time!
Why are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison.
I’m a lonely Status. I wish more people liked me.
Girls who don`t get naked when you`re drunk.. Explain yourselves.
Any fool can use a computer ... Many do
My girlfriend asked me to send some dirty pics. So I sent her a picture of my sink full of dishes. :)
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
If I didn`t drink, then how would everyone know how much I love them at 2am?
Dance like no oneΒ΄s going to put it on YouTube.
I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in
The general rule is that you shouldn`t ride an elevator during a fire, but I mean, talk about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
Just signed a $320,000, nine year deal with my therapist.
Good thing I`m judged on my actions and not my thoughts.