Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
Big shoutout to whoever decided the ? and ! should be next to each other on an iPhone. That typo hasn’t made me look insane 10,000 times.
Lazy fact #128540162, You were too lazy to read that number.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until an intoxicated idiot runs face first into a sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
Your so vain...you probably think this post is about you
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
The best part about being a pathological liar is flying my helicopter to my private island.
Trying to be a responsible adult is messing up my social life.
Talking to me this morning is like trying to dribble a ball with not enough air in it.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
Just when you think someone couldn`t be any more annoying I test your theory.
The easiest way to distract a woman is to show her a picture of herself.
Only 3 more days until millions of people join the gym for a week.
Scariest Moment: Flushing the toilet at someone else’s house, and seeing the water rise…