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Thank God! the women with 3 boobs was a hoax... I just couldn`t wrap my hands around it....
Is it polite or rude to slide a note into the bathroom stall next to you that says, "heard you farting but it`s ok you`re in the right place :)"
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
I used to care ... but I take a pill for that now.
I miss newspapers. It`s weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad.
There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re being watched? Because if it’s bothering you, I’ll stop.
A wise man once told me `Never sleep with your a$$ itching.. You`ll wake up with smelly fingers`
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
I don`t get why girls get so offended by sexist jokes..I think they are just ovary-acting. Seriously..
My parents are visiting. So I pretty much know how much gas cost everywhere.
I saw a comedian one time who did nothing but make geography puns. talk abbottabad act.
Girls are supposed to dance. That`s why god gave them parts that jiggle.
STD`s aren`t like pokémon, your not suppose to catch`em all!
My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.