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"I don`t know what the f*ck this tastes like." - first person to eat chicken.
Nothing is more dangerous than a woman “gathering her thoughts”.
SPOILER ALERT: Rice cakes do not contain any actual cake.
Akward Moment Is When Your Twin Sister Calls You Ugly(:
Birth Control Pills should be for men. It makes much more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.
Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
Blacking out when you’re drunk is god’s way of telling you that it’s none of your business what you do when you’re drunk.
I was gonna call you... but I`m still sober.
If you´re cooler than me, doesnt that make me hotter than you?
I can tell by your boobs that you`ve never seen a bar tab.
I have a lot on my plate right now. Not busy, just hungry.
Jesus, take the wheel. Carlos, you take the stereo & I`ll take lookout.
If I can’t act weird around you, I’m sorry we can’t be friends.
No, PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on facebook.