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It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
I`ve come to terms with the fact that I will never experience leftover pizza.
That son of a b*tch moment when you`re walking around the house with socks on and step on a random wet spot.
Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose – your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don’t have!
I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
Last year I won a $50 gift card to Chili`s at a Christmas raffle. ...... This year I`ve decided my Secret Santa gift is going to be a $14.37 gift card to Chili`s.
Seems like you must have been pretty stupid to get caught for murder in the 1800s
I thought there was a spider on the rug, but it was just some yarn. It’s dead yarn now, though.
hates when I´m singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!
I`m right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?
I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off your life.... Based on the math, I should have died in 1732.
I have always wanted to start a brand of Christian themed lollipops and call them Catho-licks.
Some tattoo artists need to just say, "no, I`m not doing this sh!t."
I didn’t get the job… heading home.. Good Bye Rome.. until we meet again.