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People reckon I´m too patronizing (that means I treat them as if they´re stupid).
The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
We can operate a robot on another planet, but yet I`m still struggling to get this vending machine to take my wrinkled dollar.
Chuck E. Cheese is just a casino for little kids.
Happy third birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge.
The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.
Ya know u would never know u where happy if u never had bad memory.
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
I can bench 250 lbs. And by that, I mean, I can sit myself down on a bench in a local park.
If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.
I decided to bury the hatchet with that neighbor I never got along with. After all, it is the murder weapon.
Birds do it. Bees do it. Heck, even fleas do it. Let`s do it! Let`s live in a homeless man`s beard!
The fact that you don’t find me amazing doesn’t bother me at all, it just confirms what I have suspected all along; that you have bad taste.
You know how sometimes as you fall asleep your whole body jolts you awake? That`s a ghost finishing sex with you.
I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you`d better do what I meant and not what I said.