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I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
Mother mosquito: Hey kiddo, how was your first flight? kid mosquito: Great mom! Everyone was clapping for me.
If I truly posted what was on my mind ... I´d most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous ... You`re practically begging for typos.
I`ll show up at the gym when they put in a drive-thru.
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off
I bought a huge plastic Christmas tree today! the shop assistant asked me if I was going to put it up myself? I told him "Don`t be stupid, i`m gonna put it in the lounge room"
Why would you live in a place where the air hurts your face?
Buying an airline ticket is like paying shipping and handling for yourself.
I wish my life had background music so I could figure out what the hell is going on.
I have no idea how I used to look for things in the dark before I had a cellphone.
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
Being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna` be a great day.