Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
If you lose your shoe at the end of the night, you’re not Cinderella. You’re probably just drunk.
Wanted: Magic hat for a snowman
If advertisers were smart, they`d make a silent, slow-motion commercial that runs at normal speed when you fast forward through it on a DVR.
My girlfriend would be so mad if she found out that I`m telling people she`s my girlfriend.
I`m beginning to think the only reason I buy bananas is to watch them die a painful death on my counter.
I’ve been saving up my tickets for 27 years sir, and I would like to purchase this very chuck e cheese.
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
The Easter Bunny doesn`t always drink, but when he does I bet it`s hopscotch.
I don`t care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!
Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down.
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.
I swear July only lasted like 3 minutes
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets.
It takes about 2.9 seconds for me to go from “this is the best day ever” to “I want to stab every person on planet Earth.”