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I don`t mind helping people as long as I`m not slightly inconvenienced.
I am out of wine, so I ate a bag of grapes and threw myself down the stairs.
I’m an only child, and I’m still not the favorite.
I enjoy long walks away from responsibility.
There’s a thin line between “I should do a status update about that” and “I should talk to a therapist about that”
That "No alcohol beyond this point." sign might as well say "I bet you can´t chug that whole beer!"
Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That`s where I come in.
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You can call someone who makes prosthetics a professional body builder
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
Life is hard, it`s even harder when your stupid.
Being an adult is mostly waiting to leave places you didn`t want to go to in the first place.
I try not to work that much. That way I make less mistakes.
Rapunzel is my favorite fairy tale about a woman who finds happiness when a man pulls her hair.
Instead of LOL, try SALTS ( smiled a little, then stopped)