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Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can´t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Big shout out to all the spiders not building their webs at face level.
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
If your man is reluctant to talk about his feelings, it’s probably because you haven’t told him what they are yet.
Tomorrow, I`m going to open up the time capsule I buried when I was a kid. I can`t wait to see how big my puppy got!
When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
I think it’s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they’re scared. I’m like “you idiot, that’s the first place monsters go!”
LOL` the biggest lie on the internet.
People are like slinkeys; they don’t really serve a purpose, but you can’t help but laugh when one of them falls down the stairs.
Offering a hobo $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
I was doing laundry today and accidentally left out a very large fart. 4 people turned around. For a minute, I thought I was on "The Voice".
Im convinced that one day we will all live in the future.
I felt really mischievous earlier so I bought a McDonalds and ate it at a KFC
The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.