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Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I`ve learned that I don`t need to use so many paper towels, and they`re expensive.
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
Just used the "f word" over on FB so I`m waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use.
Doing absolutely nothing on the weekends has started to feel more fun than actually going out.
I just want someone to touch me the way a woman touches a pair of shoes she cannot afford.
How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
It`s bigger on the inside..said no woman, ever!
That awkward moment when you`re telling the truth, but start laughing like crazy and everyone thinks you`re lying.
The problem with taking the road less traveled is the poor phone signal...
I wish banks would do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fourth one I`ve been to that is saying "Insufficient Funds."
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
A magic eraser, but for my bar tab.
Without coffee, I’m just a really tall 2 year old.
Nothing says “friend zone” quite like a woman saying “you’re like a brother to me.” Unless you’re from Alabama.
Being an adult is mostly just wondering if the stuff in the dishwasher is dirty or clean while eating soup out of a sand castle bucket.